I sat on the couch, lost in my own thoughts as I pleasured myself. My wife, Rachel, was in the bedroom with my best friend, Mike. I had given them permission to have an open relationship, but the reality was different. I tried to push the thoughts away, but they lingered. The bed squeaked, and I was transported back to the moment Rachel and Mike walked in hand in hand. My mind raced with emotions - anger, jealousy, hurt. I thought about how we used to be, how happy we were. But now, everything seemed tainted. Rachel and Mike's moans grew louder, and I felt a pang of regret. I should have been enough for her. But I wasn't. I rummaged through my memories, trying to find a reason why she needed someone else. Why she needed Mike. The sounds from the bedroom grew fainter, and I was lost in my own pain.